Dicks. Let me tell you a little story about dicks. One time I was on a first date with a girl who was, let’s say, of much more regal bearing than myself. This is not a difficult feat, but the fact remains that she left it up to me to choose the movie and I chose Superbad. A raucous teen comedy from the makers of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy! We’d be making out in seconds. Then Jonah Hill flashbacks to his obsession with drawing cocks all inside his secret cock book and it splats open on the floor in front of the girl next to him in class and I. Absolutely. Lost. It. I was lighting that packed cinema up. I was a hyena with a surplus of nangs, babe, I was slapping my knee so much I missed and slapped my date’s knee and tried to pass it off as some kind of friendly hey-wasn’t-that-funny gesture but she was smarter than that.
Anyway, enough about my shit life. Drawing Dicks on the Herald Sun has become an alternately unlikely and likely international institution, and I’ve always wanted to know the score. So did a director by the name of Larry Boxshall, apparently, because he was right in the middle of filming a documentary on it when I sussed him out and we got talking. He even sent me some exclusive dicks. He insisted. Like he sent about 50 emails just filled with cock. I thought I should ask him out or something.
HILARIOUS ADDENDUM: The Drawing Dicks on the Herald Sun crew have now announced a major exhibition at Melbourne’s Artboy Gallery in Prahran on February 26th. A MAJOR EXHIBITION. I am screaming.